WHAT IS WRONG WITH MODERN HORROR MOVIES?

The same thing that has always been wrong, I would say. As said before, horror is an elementary education of the pop culture of the time. The fears presented in horror are the fears of the age they appear it. When a movie comes a little too early, or a little too late, they flop. You have to strike while the iron is hot. UNFRIENDED would not work two years from now. It works now. BLAIR WITCH worked when it did, and began a series of unfortunate “found” stories..all of which are becoming quickly hackneyed under the weight of time.

The SAW films? Enough already..
ROB ZOMBIE? I never could stomach it..
REMAKES? I never appreciated them to begin with.

The website BLOODY-DISGUSTING’S Brad Miska wrote up a story about what is wrong with the genre.. a few valid points presented:

For me, the biggest thing he nails is that modern horror is littered with fake jump-scares. I often cite the use of authentic scares in reviews of films I love – most notably ones directed by James Wan (Insidious, The Conjuring). Many studio films fatigue the audience with bullshit jump-scares that utilize loud sound design to make the audience jolt out of their seat. They aren’t being scared, they’re being yelled at. That’s not horror. He relates it to having sex – films are blowing their load and releasing tension too early, leaving the film’s climax to have little to no effect.

Graphic description .. but I see the point. Horror is slow and methodical.. it brings you to a point where you realize the conclusion is awfully scary.. Deep and disturbing .. that was the success of this autumn’s M NIGHT film THE VISIT. It took a while. You got to enjoy it.. and you got surprised at the end.

Lastly, he [

Chris Stuckmann] points to expectations vs reality as a major issue. Marketing of The Village is his prime example, in which he points out that even M. Night Shyamalan regrets the false advertising. Studios need to get asses in the seats and will do so by any means necessary (For example, much of the footage in The Gallows trailers and TV spots weren’t actually in the movie).

I agree.. Another good example of advertising to seduce is this past week’s failure CRIMSON PEAK. It was a romance horror.. And it failed, because as people found out it was not the ‘scariest movie of the year’ that was promised, they shunned like an Amish sinner in Lancaster county.

Fans vote with wallets, for sure. But sadly they vote for what is heaped on them by studios that just want quick bucks off of horror flicks.

A few horrors that were good, and not because of profit, exist in the past few years.. THE HOUSES OCTOBER BUILT, IT FOLLOWS, and the BABADOOK. 

You can find a lot more gems on Netflix. Lower budget gems. I talk about them often on this website. And you should search them out as well.. 

Rummage through the pile of studio-produced garbage and find the things that matter.. the prizes in the puzzle of horror.

There are truly really scary things out there. Sadly in the way we’re given films, you have to search them out yourself. They certainly will not be handed to you.

I would love to hear feedback.

What do you, reader, say is good and bad about modern horror?

Morning serial

Last night before bed, I made a little mistake in listening to a DARKNESS RADIO true crime show with Dave Schrader featuring the owner of Serial Killer Magazine. The show was great and interesting. True crime fascinates me … actually scares me. The intense reality that exists beyond the safety of our locked doors and closed windows is abhorrent, often.  There is much to be written and told of true crime—too much to start now. But I’m curious how many others out there are interested in true crime.. How many people are both fascinated and horrified by the macabre.. and how many fear reality more than fiction?

Numb to the victims

Death happens every day.. mass death occurs. But we should be used to it or accept it—however do accept it often.

I am struck by the reaction of the world and media to the missing flight 370. We are facing the possibility that the 239 passengers and crew faced an overwhelmingly horrific death—the way they expired may be viewed different depending on which viewpoint you have as far as what happened to the flight itself. But by this point, it would seem obvious that there’s no life from within that plane.

And we are numb to it.
Numb in the sense that we aren’t talking about the lives aboard.. we aren’t speaking of the beautiful children who faced an awful early departure from this realm.. we aren’t talking about the wives and husbands, moms and dads, employees and employers.. The stories of all 239 people have seemingly vanished as much as their flight itself. Gone for good into the memory hole.. Never to be spoken about again.

A mass death occurred in some way, most likely..But their lives don’t seem to matter. They’re just the back story to the Malaysian mystery.

The people who seem to be suffering the most are the families of the missing.. There was a news conference held in Kuala Lumpur with updates about what we know on the missing plane—as far as the news conference, think of it like this: we don’t know a thing and anything you’ve known is wrong. But during the event, families of the missing became frustrated and emotional, screaming out in tears and anger. They were also angry at the response or lack thereof from governmental bodies. As a result, they were swept away as the media watched, families who are going through agony and misery simply dragged away from the news conference in front of reporters.. Even the BBC reported that a reporter from their agency was pushed away from family members carrying banners critical of the government. The BBC reporter, Jonah Fisher, faced a wall of police as he tried to talk to the wailing wall of people..

My point, if any, is that the story of where the plane is and how it went missing is extremely important. And the flight simulator with its programmed routes, along with the sudden movement of Flight 370 itself, are big issues. But the heart of the story are the lives aboard. If a flight carrying no one vanished they story wouldn’t matter nearly as much. But a flight carrying so many lives, so many stories, and so many souls, makes this matter much more. But at the same time the media is hardly talking about those lives, and really not permitted to speak to the families of the missing.

There seems to be something rotten in Malaysia. Either the government is hiding something or has simply dropped the ball so hard that the time frame to find the plane is now dwindling to the point of no return.

I am struck by how little attention is being paid to the lives aboard this flight. The images of the children of the disappeared was striking when I saw them the other day. But they are not just becoming forgotten.. missing plane parts are more important that body parts. 

As the families drift into darkness, rushed away from reporters snapping photos, ask yourself this: Are we just accepting of mass murder and mass death? Are we even phased by it anymore? Is it just a side story on the big story? 

War makes news only because of the men who plan war. The victims, often children birthed into a world of heartbreak, are forgotten. Collateral damage. We say. We think.

But what do we really think, deep down?

Are you a bystander in life, just watching mass death from a distance? Did you lose your connection to humanity, thinking what happens “there” will not affect here? What happens to “them” is less important than “us”? Ask yourself that..?

Riddle me this, someone: Why do the strawberries in SPECIAL K Chocolatey Strawberry cereal taste like vomit?

I really want to enjoy my breakfast.. but each time I bite into a freeze dried piece I feel like I’m sucking on a towel that wipes up refuse from the mouth after a flu.

Please … why?

Teflon stick..

I need some advice. I am going to throw away all my Teflon pans.. I have cast iron. Anyone recommend anything else? Stainless steel?

I know that Teflon has issues —at least if it chips. My Gordon Ramsay pans are actually scratching and chipping. Time to get RID OF THE CANCER RISK..

But what is best?

I use the cast iron for mostly meats or fish.. 

I need something else to saute.

Lately I have overused my NUWAVE oven lately and feel it may be on its last wave..

How many inches are YOU seeing this morning?

That question is intended only for people who are seeing snow. Although I suppose on Tumblr, there can be many interpretations not appropriate for children.

Techies.. a question

Blogger vs Tumblr Vs Wordpress?

A NOTE TO ALL READERS: MY LINES ARE OPEN

Ask me anything or tell me anything here: http://www.coalspeaker.com/ask

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Email me anything here: bryan@horrorreport.com

What up y’all?

I hate your website, you are a shill for the coal companies. They ruined my water in west virginia, and you celebrate them.

Wow.. I don’t know what to say or how to answer this one.

I don’t really think you’ve read much on this site.. I am from a region in Pennsylvania called the ‘coal region’ where anthracite coal is mined—hence the name. As for me? I am not a coal miner .. I do burn coal as a heat source in my home, but that’s because, again, I am from the anthracite coal region. 

I really, really don’t think you’ve ever read my blog..

A question for all the parents out there..

There are some shows I don’t let me son watch.. there are some shows he watches and does not like (thankfully) .. and one of those shows is UNCLE GRANDPA. He’s not interested yet, but I assume as he ages, he will become so. Which frightens me.. UNCLE GRANDPA may be the single worst cartoon, ever. And quite possibly WORSE in the annoyance level than even CAILLOU.

Who agrees?

I need some answers from readers

I have a playlist on this site now, it includes some of my favorite songs.. I expect it to change and be updated as much as my background image..

I was told today playing autoplay music is as crude as having a 1990s style Geoshitties page.

Can any of you let me know your thoughts on autoplaying music when you get to a site? Does it help or hurt?

A question for all who follow me and for those who don't: What is it that makes you want to go back to a website over and over again?

I live in detroit. there is nothing to do, no where to do. this bankruptcy stuff only makes us look worse than we are. and we are bad,.

I doubt you are ‘bad’.. But certainly things right now are not working the way they should.. Thanks for the comment.

I'm from Detroit but go to college in Ohio and every time I visit home it seems to get a bit worse, more abandoned houses, etc. I love Detroit because it made me who I am but we've got a long way to go. I really wish the media would show some of the good about the city though.

The media will never show positive images, or tell good stories. Positive doesn’t sell. 

It is always a shame to see your childhood memories become defunct with time and with economic conditions. Thanks for the response.. I hope everything will work out..

I am from Detroit, and I dont get why the media is so hard on us, even the pictures you posted make us look like Bosnia in 1994. We are a proud people, with history, but extremely bad leadership. The only reason we are bankrupcy is because of those in charge. Sadly it's like a mafia run city. Except the mafia would do much better.I bet you will be afraid to print this

Interesting point on the MOB. Well taken.

I am brave enough to publish

Detroit files for bankruptcy

The city of Detroit filed the largest municipal bankruptcy case in U.S. history Thursday afternoon, culminating a decades-long slide that transformed the nation’s iconic industrial town into a model of urban decline crippled by population loss, a dwindling tax base and financial problems.

This is rather unprecedented..

From all those images of a vacant and deteriorating Detroit to this basic admission: They are broke..

I trust that the spirit of the city strong.. I’ve never been there. But I would sure love to hear from people in Detroit about this. Answer this post or send me a message on my open lines page.

I am not from Detroit.. but if you’ve driven through the coal region of PA, you may see that we have some stuff in common.

?

Detroit files for bankruptcy

Finish this statement:

Lil Kim will huff, he’ll puff, and he________________?

It's garbage night in my humble abode, but it begs the question ..

I had chicken wings last week. Wednesday night. There are still some left and I am throwing them out. How long have YOU kept chicken wings?

An open forum question for all out there who blog:

Do your websites make money for you, and if so, how?