THE BILE ON THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR

My son got sick this morning, right before his final day of day care for the year..

As I write this, he’s watching Netflix on the couch and relaxing. I am home from work and blogging in between worried looks each time he makes a move, just in case I have to rush back to couchside to ensure the garbage can is secure while his body’s natural state does its deed to rid itself of whatever virus is running its course.

It somehow seems fitting. Ending the year with a few projectile dispatches.

Think about it..
New years is about cleaning out the mind, body, and soul. While a four and a half year old may not get the ramifications and meaning of calendar changes or balls dropping in Times Square, it’s almost like his little body decided to take part in a ritualistic cleanse..

Yes, maybe I am being over dramatic.
But my over-drama has improved since my son was born.
I fondly–sarcasm there–recall the very first time my son had a flu. He was about 2, and the vomit started occurring around 3am. And a lot of it.. in the midst of the cleaning, it almost immediately began happening to me. It was gruesome, actually. A mixture of awfulness. My wife got sick, too.. but not to the extent of dad and son.  The air was so bad we wanted to just move out.

Each time he got sick since, I was calmer each time.
That calmness may not last forever, but the years of training my mind to accept sickness as a part of life, and a part of the body’s actual defense mechanism to heal, has culminated with amazing senses.
Like this….
This morning when my son sat up, he looked funny. I was sitting next to him and saw something in his expression.. I knew. I said, “You okay?” A nod ‘yes’ occurred.. I didn’t believe it. I immediately held up the garbage can and, like an amazing 1990s Michael Jordan basketball shot, he projected refuse into the can. 3 points!
Live action dad hero.
Maybe the one time only in life that will happen.. but moms and dads get to be keenly aware of what each expression on their child’s face means.
I knew this morning what the worried look meant. “It” was coming..

My wife and I have dinner plans tonight with friends for new years eve. That may be called off now due to unforeseen bodily circumstances.  The first mission of the day is to effectively utilize Febreeze and Lysol where it needs it most. Already, every door handle was disinfected. Waiting on the current room until the dust settles..
The Twilight Zone marathon is on, too.
Not sure if my son will give a break from Netflix, or fall asleep for a bit, in time for me to tune in to a few amazing Twilight Zones on SYFY, but that’s life.
Life happens when you least expect it.

When you have dinner plans..
When the calendar changes..

So in the spirit of my son at this moment: Cleanse yourself of the trials, tribulations, and pains of 2015.  Sixteen is a brand new chance to get something right that has been going wrong for some time.  Only YOU know what is wrong. Or your body. And if it’s internal, get ready with a garbage can and some Gatorade.

May your travels be safe and your new years eve be the last day you to worry about the things you worried about in 2015.

Samhain practice run. Success. But I’ll need more force for the real day.

Why Some Children Think They’re More Special Than Everyone Else

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuLl5XD57zU?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque&w=500&h=374]

Why Some Children Think They’re More Special Than Everyone Else

1. Will your child be six years, six months or older when he begins first grade and starts receiving reading instruction?

2. Does your child have two to five permanent or second teeth?

3. Can you child tell, in such a way that his speech is understood by a school crossing guard or policeman, where he lives?

4. Can he draw and color and stay within the lines of the design being colored?

5. Can he stand on one foot with eyes closed for five to ten seconds?

6. Can he ride a small two-wheeled bicycle without helper wheels?

7. Can he tell left hand from right?

8. Can he travel alone in the neighborhood (four to eight blocks) to store, school, playground, or to a friend’s home?

9. Can he be away from you all day without being upset?

10. Can he repeat an eight- to ten-word sentence, if you say it once, as “The boy ran all the way home from the store”?

11. Can he count eight to ten pennies correctly?

12. Does your child try to write or copy letters or numbers?

How to tell if your child was ready for kindergarten in 1979..

Banging heads

My son did not really want to wake up for daycare today, and on the way there he expressed his disinterest in a Monday morning. I told him things were even worse for adults, and attempted to explain to him what happens during work meetings, the fake talking and the pretentious attitudes. I tried to explain how everyone gathers around the table and sits down, pretends to like each other for the first 35 seconds, and then attempts to outdo each other in ideas or long winded platitudes . This may have been a bit heavy for a 4 year old, but he seemed to grasp the concept.

He said to me, “daddy why don’t you get under the table in bang your head on it.”

When I said that sounds like a good idea, I saw him thinking. Then he said, “actually don’t, that will hurt”

Maybe. . Or maybe less.

So true.. So very true..
Caillou is the hellbeast of parenting.. The curse of pain..

He’s just a kid who’s four and each day he annoys some more..

The amazing things that happen when you're busy making other plans. Four years on..

The John Lennon song still is true.. there are things in life that remind you you’re not in charge. Such an event occurred February 2011 when my wife went into labor after watching a Cosby Show rerun with me around 3am—the witching hour. She had our son, Ayden Morris, near 1pm hours later..

From that moment on my life changed and it continues to do so. 

Being a father is amazing. Rewarding.. challenging.. And honestly the best job I’ve ever had. And one I have to do—my wife feels the same way about motherhood. We are called to act each and every day. And even when he goes to bed each night, we still watch from the corner of our eyes to make sure he’s safe and sound.

And today, Ayden is four.

I can’t honestly believe how quick time has passed.

I think it was about two years ago that I wrote on this website that I intended on writing a book about fatherhood. I still want to. I started it.. I suppose it’s never too late. Information about parenting really doesn’t change, does it?

Always remember .. Your kids won’t care what you’ll say but they’ll always watch what you do.

There's Actually A Scientific Reason You Sometimes Want To Eat Your Baby (or Puppy)

I was informed, interested, and yet somehow disturbed by this article on cute aggression..
I never wanted to eat my child. I suppose others haven’t been so lucky..

There's Actually A Scientific Reason You Sometimes Want To Eat Your Baby (or Puppy)

Night fevers

…what always the spike of a fever at night? The endless horror at 3am when the temperature reads well above 102 degrees on a child?

It is beyond nerve wracking.

I know, the experts say the fever is a sign the body is working. That’s well and good. Except when parental fears get into the mix..

Ayden met Santa for the second time last night. He announced his list, but this time shortened it down to two things. I think he panicked a bit and clammed up once he was face to face with the big guy..

Although afterwards he asked a good question: What is Santa doing here right now instead of the North Pole? He knew how busy a time it was.. how did Santa have a chance to come to Ashland, PA? I reassured him .. he was not as persistent as he will be at four, or even five. 

I recall my ‘moment’ of realization came around four. So if that happens with my son, I’m just loving getting this one magical Christmas with the amazing innocence of believing in something.

Funny enough, our moment with Santa has been recorded for posterity by the POTTSVILLE REPUBLICAN. A reporter even got a quote from both of us.. John Usalis writes,

Inside the Legion post, members sold hot food while people came in to warm up. Santa Claus was also inside, ringing bells as children came to tell him their Christmas wishes.

Ayden Smolock, 3 1/2, of Ashland, was attending his first Old Fashioned Christmas and told Santa that he wanted a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sewer lair play set. He was also excited to get a candy cane from Santa. His father, Brian Smolock, enjoys coming to the event.

“The event has a very nice feel, like a mini Jim Thorpe,” Smolock said. “It’s a good atmosphere. I was over at the historical building across the street and they’re doing a good job there.”

So it is written.
SANTA, now you know. Even the media is reporting Ayden’s wish list!

I wrote this back in March of this year along with the cartoon posted of a new tree limb going into a classroom.. It’s interesting to note that originally, this cartoon implicated that there was a positive in the Axe, molding students into identical pieces of wood..

I wrote this in March:

This is a piece of art from the Internet I found.. no clue as to its origins or who created it—I’d give credit if I knew. But I just love it.. Who DIDN’T feel like this as they walked into school classrooms each morning? And for those still in school who are reading this, I felt this way too. I fear my son, only age 3, will one day be thinking the same thoughts.. so often it feels like a big PINK FLOYD song as you go through your childhood. There seems to be so many adults who are dead set on ruining a kid’s dream or stomping down imagination.. There are teachers, parents, bus drivers, and principals who become a nightmare for children.. There are moments in time when living in childhood is a prison unto itself—where bullies thrive and hopes dive. But to those who read this facing the same hell of the brain: Be strong. School will one day be out forever. And when you’re 15 years post high school graduation, the good memories may remain and the bad will shrink.. Some of them.

But I also say this, to those who are reading this right now being bullied: You don’t have to be the victim. You’re better than the bully.. you’re smarter.. you’re more intelligent. And you’re more honest with yourself. Be as strong as you can be, don’t allow the darkness of sadness creep in, it’s not worth it. And more than anything else, don’t ever lose who you are.. then a bully wins. I’ve been down paths similar.. And it’s rough. But after the storm passes you’ll see how beautiful the sun can be..
I fear future moments with my own child.. I fear what other kids—and adults—are capable of. Having a child changed everything, and continues to do so.. E V E R Y T H I N G.

I felt it was appropriate to re-blog the matter for everyone’s enjoyment, now that school is beginning all over again.. Whether it’s the indoctrination of grade school, the prison of high school, or the supposedly free minded slavery called college, keep your minds fresh, young, and immune from it all.. Learn what you can but forget what is untrue.. realize the truth is deeper than skin and goes far beyond this planet. 

And though school for me is a long memory, I am watching my own son grow and soon be shuttled off on a big yellow bus—the bus I used to get sick seeing this time of year. As a matter of fact, even at the age of 33, I still get sick when I see them every morning..

Education… be molded .. but do some of the molding yourself.

Good luck students..
Eat your pudding.

My sons sidewalk chalk request: A three armed zombie, or as he calls it a ‘Jombie,’ being chased by a happy sun. I did my best.

We had our family dog, Mutley, for less than a year, but we have gotten to know him..

He is tremendously nervous, all of the time. He is constantly ready to play like a puppy, but worry like an old aged animal.. He paces around the house when he is alone, does no damage, but anxiously anticipates the master or masterette to be back.. And he only seems to be at ease during the night, when the entire family is asleep. Many nights end with my son Ayden and my dog Mutley crowded in the ‘big bed’ of mom and dad, scrunched into odd contortions as my wife and I attempt to not fall to the floor due to the lack of space. 

I’m not complaining.. secretly, I love it and will miss it one day when my son wants nothing to do with mom and dad, and when Mutley is too old to jump up anymore..
I love these days.

There is also something about Mutley that amazes me.. he is a harbinger.. When the air pressure changes—before rain or thunderstorms begin—Mutley begins to shake uncontrollably. He frantically attempts to find some hidden portion of the house to hide .. He gets under desks, legs, beds.. Jumps into corners of closets, and tries his best to shield his little dog body the best he can..

And there’s nothing I can do for him.. he handles it himself, but I wish I could help.

Instead, once the air pressure changes and the storm lifts, he goes back to his old semi-nervous self again.

Mutley is a good little man.. he has some more growing pains to go through, and he bites a little too much when he plays, but he respects my son Ayden and hasn’t yet done a nasty thing to him. As a matter of fact, they get along like brothers.. stealing food and playing ball. It’s good to see..

But when the rain begins—or snow in the wintertime—leave Mutley be. Until the air pressure rises again..

Spanking the gray matter out of our kids

The effects of spanking may include less gray matter in certain areas of the brain that have been linked to depression, addiction and self-control.

I have had some very serious and almost friendship-ending debates over spanking with people.. I do not condone it.. I even get a little queasy when I hear people argue that people have the right to do with their kids what they want in their own homes.. Some even use the Bible to justify their punishments. Then again, lots of people use the Bible and any other religious text to justify anything..

If you’re the spanker, things can escalate too quickly and go too far too fast.. Even those parents with the best of intentions can also direct the punishment with anger—using too much force as a means to get their own vent of frustration as opposed to simply ‘teaching a lesson,’ as proponents say the method of torture punishment is..

Some from aging generations will argue that spanking never hurt them.. they will say that ‘kids these days sometimes need the paddle’ over other means of punishment.. But.. who says that parents aren’t still aggressively engaging in corporal punishment? The CNN story quotes a survey from 2012—not long ago—in which half of the woman in this nation and three quarters of the men think a good ‘hard spanking’ is a good course of action with a child. 

Sarah Kovac points out this in her article: 

Harsh corporal punishment in the study was defined as at least one spanking a month for more than three years, frequently done with objects such as a belt or paddle. Researchers found children who were regularly spanked had less gray matter in certain areas of the prefrontal cortex that have been linked to depression, addiction and other mental health disorders, the study authors say.

That’s important.. Very important.

Even more important, according to the same research, spanking led children to become more aggressive by the ages of 3 and then 5, and it had the greatest impact on a child by the age of 9. 

If you’re still in favor or spanking, or whatever other painful ways to punish another human, think first.. And primarily, even ignoring the scientific evidence to show spanking does some more damage to a brain than it does a rear, think of this: Are you inflicting the pain on your son and daughter to teach them .. or to appease your own ancient instincts to hurt..? 

This is a sore subject for me—no pun intended.. I was never spanked.. I was ‘poked’ hard in the shoulder to shut my little kid yapper up now and then.. but never had any painful punishments inflicted on me. All of the kids who I know did have those punishments were either mentally disturbed then, or are now..

Spanking the gray matter out of our kids

CHAPTER 2 "The life and times of am embryo - 2010: Dizzying doctors and amazing images from ... the belly of the wife"

CHAPTER 2 "The life and times of am embryo - 2010: Dizzying doctors and amazing images from ... the belly of the wife"

Another must read from Caleb Wilde: A mother writes an obituary for her son who committed suicide

There were two portions that will stick with me.. they are amazingly poignant: 

Love and tolerance is the way – the antithesis of teenage culture. As adults, we preach love and tolerance at school, then fail to lead by example. In business, in sports, in entertainment, in personal relationships and in the media … how often do adults place people before profit, a helping hand before blame, caring ahead of winning, others ahead of self?

and

Kids drink this way because they need to escape their own false personalities. They strive to be the best, to be cool, to be popular and successful. Underneath, it’s all about the same old human needs: to feel valued, to feel important and special, to belong, to be loved. 

Lectures and platitudes to the young will never change their society. We must all be the agents of change. Our society, as it gets bigger and more global, must evolve just as our species has evolved. Each of us, at work in the office, at home, in the post office, at the grocery store and in the government, must honor and value each person we encounter. How would your day be if, instead of trying to be right, you were trying to help? 

 

Another must read from Caleb Wilde: A mother writes an obituary for her son who committed suicide

Monster butts. Kicked.

There is something both fulfilling and scary to hear Ayden shout “let’s kick some Monster Butt!!!” as he plays with his toys.. especially since “monster butt” has been the agreed upon term to define “ass” within the house, ever since Ayden uttered the A word several months ago.

I think I want to get “Let’s kick some Monster Butt” made onto a T-shirt for posterity..

Untruth and consequences

Found out the hard way today that when my son claims that he “double promises “something, that is when he is triple line

A camp where boys can be girls. A future where humans will be machines. It's all eventual

Here goes nothing..I will try to explain the best I can.. 

A camp for boys that allows them to be girls has been photo documented by SLATE.. Three year olds wearing heals and wearing makeup..  The camp does not define itself as gay or transgender, but is being proclaimed as a sign of the future.. the evolution of sexual identity and the merging together of both genders into one.. 

What I say: the makers of the world actually want transhumanism. Anything they can get to accomplish that goal will work for them. I believe all people regardless of size shape sex or secrets should be given basic forms of respect.. I frankly could care less who wants to get married or who wants a sex change.

But a three-year-old knowing they were born the wrong gender? I question the parents more than the ethics of allowing a child to decide.. did the parents coerce, or decide for them?  

I also say: The death of a civilization is upon us. No, not because of dying morals—you can’t look at the Christian crusades and tell me they were anything less than satanic—but because of dying birth rates.

Really.  For all the conservative hatred of unwed mothers and teenagers walking around pushing baby carriages, their anger is in vain. It’s not the nonsense they spout..  US birth rates are a record low.. Hell, even teen birth rates are, too.. 

Look to Japan to see how cultures can evolve: Younger people there have stopped having sex and the adult population has decided to wear diapers everywhere. In Russia, Vlad the Impaler Putin was telling people to say home for a national day of sex. It’s not the moral collapse.. there never were really morals anyway.. it’s the changing scientific reality ..

Transhumanism is coming..

The merging of genders is first.

The merging of human with machine is eventual..