THE BILE ON THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR

My son got sick this morning, right before his final day of day care for the year..

As I write this, he’s watching Netflix on the couch and relaxing. I am home from work and blogging in between worried looks each time he makes a move, just in case I have to rush back to couchside to ensure the garbage can is secure while his body’s natural state does its deed to rid itself of whatever virus is running its course.

It somehow seems fitting. Ending the year with a few projectile dispatches.

Think about it..
New years is about cleaning out the mind, body, and soul. While a four and a half year old may not get the ramifications and meaning of calendar changes or balls dropping in Times Square, it’s almost like his little body decided to take part in a ritualistic cleanse..

Yes, maybe I am being over dramatic.
But my over-drama has improved since my son was born.
I fondly–sarcasm there–recall the very first time my son had a flu. He was about 2, and the vomit started occurring around 3am. And a lot of it.. in the midst of the cleaning, it almost immediately began happening to me. It was gruesome, actually. A mixture of awfulness. My wife got sick, too.. but not to the extent of dad and son.  The air was so bad we wanted to just move out.

Each time he got sick since, I was calmer each time.
That calmness may not last forever, but the years of training my mind to accept sickness as a part of life, and a part of the body’s actual defense mechanism to heal, has culminated with amazing senses.
Like this….
This morning when my son sat up, he looked funny. I was sitting next to him and saw something in his expression.. I knew. I said, “You okay?” A nod ‘yes’ occurred.. I didn’t believe it. I immediately held up the garbage can and, like an amazing 1990s Michael Jordan basketball shot, he projected refuse into the can. 3 points!
Live action dad hero.
Maybe the one time only in life that will happen.. but moms and dads get to be keenly aware of what each expression on their child’s face means.
I knew this morning what the worried look meant. “It” was coming..

My wife and I have dinner plans tonight with friends for new years eve. That may be called off now due to unforeseen bodily circumstances.  The first mission of the day is to effectively utilize Febreeze and Lysol where it needs it most. Already, every door handle was disinfected. Waiting on the current room until the dust settles..
The Twilight Zone marathon is on, too.
Not sure if my son will give a break from Netflix, or fall asleep for a bit, in time for me to tune in to a few amazing Twilight Zones on SYFY, but that’s life.
Life happens when you least expect it.

When you have dinner plans..
When the calendar changes..

So in the spirit of my son at this moment: Cleanse yourself of the trials, tribulations, and pains of 2015.  Sixteen is a brand new chance to get something right that has been going wrong for some time.  Only YOU know what is wrong. Or your body. And if it’s internal, get ready with a garbage can and some Gatorade.

May your travels be safe and your new years eve be the last day you to worry about the things you worried about in 2015.

This is my original artwork.. it’s my nostalgic Christmas postcard to you.

The scene I drew in this picture, several years ago actually, is gone now. It is of the former St. Ignatius Church in Centralia, PA, a place I attended Christmas midnight mass for several years when my life began. The road signs are indicating that a highway was closed, most likely because of the Christmas blanket of snow causing mine fire fumes to overtake the highway.. The footsteps? Could be mine walking around .. could be my father, as he was the caretaker of the property for 20 years..

But it’s all gone now.
So often, we are greeted yearly with cards of this nature–places that are now gone or changed for good.

My Christmas memories hold this scene in high esteem.
They always will.
Times were simpler then–even though my hometown was being bulldozed over and people were being forced out. Still simple.
A quiet blanket of snow..
This year, 2015, it’s about 60 or so degrees outside of my house.
This scene is a memory.
As is the town and all buildings that were in it.

Samhain practice run. Success. But I’ll need more force for the real day.

I hate fish tanks, except this one

I hate fish tanks, except this one

I dislike the work and hardships that come with fish tanks. Not only the dead fish who wash up to the top, but the endless cleaning.. endless power eating.. endless work. But I would make a sacrifice, as would my wife and son, if we could get this amazing fish tank: The work they put into it was tough. So tough I wouldn’t do it. But I’d buy it.. The video here:…

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Today was Sunday squash slicing day..
It turned out well.
A pumpkin to represent each member of the family except the dog. We forgot that one..
But the human are all accounted for in squash form.

DREAMS OF MY SON'S TURTLES

A newfound respect from me for the TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES..

…AND I DON’T MEAN THE MICHAEL BAY INCARNATION..
I am talking about the cartoon..
AND I DON’T MEAN THE 20TH CENTURY VERSION..

I rarely speak much on here about the cartoon world. But thanks to fate and me having a 4-year-old TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES enthusiast, I am really getting to know the new NICKELODEON version of the show. We actively hunt down and try to acquire any new TMNT Nick toys at whatever unnamed store of choice. Some are pretty tough to find. Our family has been hitting some roadblocks..maybe AMAZON.COM is our only hope.

The show itself is amazing. I mean that. Not just because my son loves it.. not just because I am a TMNT fan.. but the storyline of the NICK cartoon is rough and tumble..ups and downs.. action packed and moving at times. It’s well done, and it has spawned something personally for me..

For about two nights in a row, I have had a nightmare about the RAT KING.

A little background on the RAT KING. When I was a kid in 1988, I really don’t remember seeing the RAT KING as a villain on the show. He made his first appearance in show #4 in February of that year.. The RAT KING has telepathic influences over, of course, rats. He has been an ally of the turtles, a villain, and evil doer.

But most recently in the NICK version of the show, he has morphed into a truly horrid looking creature who fights Master Splinter.

Though I am 34 and the show is just a cartoon, I have found myself dwelling a little too much subconsciously on the RAT KING, enough that he appeared in the last two nights of dreams. Last night, for example, I dreamed that I was trying to either hide something or myself. As the day goes on, I remember less about the dream. But what I do vividly recall from it: In the night time vision, the RAT KING was the entity hunting down either me or the unnamed hidden object. And it was startling–enough that I would consider the dream a borderline nightmare. I didn’t wake up in a cold sweat, but I was sure glad the alarm clock alerted me to daybreak so the dream could end.

There are elements of the show that are great for kids. There are also some that are perfect for those aging a bit. As for me, as a TMNT fan, the program is dark and grungy but yet filled with enough humor that it’s easy to watch. So while I am a few years behind, I am saying now: I endorse this show. It’s great. NO matter what age you are, you can still be a kid at heart..

But the RAT KING?
He is a little creepier than the average villain.

A noteworthy item of interest. This morning when my dream was over and I groggily walked into the living room to try to start the day, I almost stepped on one of my son’s Ninja Turtles action figures.
The RAT KING, no less…
Haunting at night. And a toy haunting by day…

NOT THIS:

But this:

A case of the Mondays.. A new car from St. Jude before the thunder strikes again

The weekend was rough. Car problems. But today a new CHEVROLET SONIC is in my life, after too many problems were stacking up from the beast 2010 Jeep Patriot. It saw it days and got my family through a number of winters.. But as cars go, so does luck.
Not only were there transmission issues--big ones--but also wheel bearings.. ball joints .. brakes.. Oh, and a cracked windshield that mysteriously happened last night.
So .. a decision seemingly was made by Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost and hopeless cases, who I have been trying to contact now for about a week.

Maybe he came through, smashed my windshield, and gave me the sign to get rid of one beast for the new gray Sonic the hedgehog.

Can't wait to pick my son up at day care in a new car. And then tell him NO MORE ICE CREAM WITH SPRINKLES in his car seat.. The mess I found underneath his area in the Jeep probably cost me about $500 in trade in money..

Bad weeks.
Good weeks.
All weeks.
There are all weeks--fleeting sets of seven days that come and go as quick as rain on a summer afternoon.

Car problems and house issues, all of those things don't matter when you're on your death bed asking to see your family for the final time.

Perspective.
Of course when you're asking St. Jude for help, you don't maintain that affinity of perspective as much as when the storm begins to pass.

But another storm lurks. It always does.
You just need to reestablish your safety zone before the thunder strikes.

LIFE.

The learning process...

I am proud of my son learning to play video games. Is that wrong? Sure.. I will be proud when  he learns science, math, reasoning, and spelling.. but seeing him discover how to play SUPER MARIO not only on the Wii U, but also the WII and the NINTENDO (original, folks) is amazing for a father.. 

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The final snow day?

The happy Art Bell dance

For those who don’t know, radio great Art Bell is planning a return this summer. Either online, or perhaps a little online and a little AM. Undisclosed information at this time.. But my son, age four now, is happy. Perhaps by force.. He has been a captive audience member since infancy when he’d hear Art’s reruns on the FINE ART STREAM and U7 Radio .. Now he fully endorses the return with his own version of a celebratory dance. I suspect if Art can muster up another ten years, Ayden will be 14 years of age. And he will have a full experience of what Art Bell was .. Amazing.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfBLyn-GTew?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque&w=500&h=374]

And for perspective, Ayden at 1 year:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnS1gbYWHoM?feature=oembed&enablejsapi=1&origin=https://safe.txmblr.com&wmode=opaque&w=500&h=374]

Well… I just posted that I would have bought the entire case of He-Man nostaligia.. I my son ended up getting three characters to add to the broken and dwindling collection he inherited from me.. first time since 1990 that Hordak was in the family..

My wife and I have quite the opposite tastes in music sometimes. And now Ayden has a bit of both of us.. But at least we agree on a few things.

Banging heads

My son did not really want to wake up for daycare today, and on the way there he expressed his disinterest in a Monday morning. I told him things were even worse for adults, and attempted to explain to him what happens during work meetings, the fake talking and the pretentious attitudes. I tried to explain how everyone gathers around the table and sits down, pretends to like each other for the first 35 seconds, and then attempts to outdo each other in ideas or long winded platitudes . This may have been a bit heavy for a 4 year old, but he seemed to grasp the concept.

He said to me, “daddy why don’t you get under the table in bang your head on it.”

When I said that sounds like a good idea, I saw him thinking. Then he said, “actually don’t, that will hurt”

Maybe. . Or maybe less.

We had an amazing ‘Thanksgiving in February’ to honor my son and his 4th birthday.. while we may not have had any success on getting him to become even a slight carnivore this year, he did help prepare the meal. Until he saw the neck that is..

The amazing things that happen when you're busy making other plans. Four years on..

The John Lennon song still is true.. there are things in life that remind you you’re not in charge. Such an event occurred February 2011 when my wife went into labor after watching a Cosby Show rerun with me around 3am—the witching hour. She had our son, Ayden Morris, near 1pm hours later..

From that moment on my life changed and it continues to do so. 

Being a father is amazing. Rewarding.. challenging.. And honestly the best job I’ve ever had. And one I have to do—my wife feels the same way about motherhood. We are called to act each and every day. And even when he goes to bed each night, we still watch from the corner of our eyes to make sure he’s safe and sound.

And today, Ayden is four.

I can’t honestly believe how quick time has passed.

I think it was about two years ago that I wrote on this website that I intended on writing a book about fatherhood. I still want to. I started it.. I suppose it’s never too late. Information about parenting really doesn’t change, does it?

Always remember .. Your kids won’t care what you’ll say but they’ll always watch what you do.

When I was 3 and a half, I was featured in a book. There was a full-spread page with a photo of me leaning up against a borehole in the town of Centralia, smoke was billowing from the background and a group of teenagers were running from the camera–one may have been my brother. The shot looked more like a scene from a third world nation .. But at that point, a mine fire had infected the underground nearest my home and the situation was getting dire.

The book was SLOW BURN.   You can see that image here from photographer Renee Jacobs..

Yesterday there was a haunting moment when I saw my own past come back for a split second in vivid detail.. the black and white photo of my from 1983 suddenly was in color, standing on front of me.. My son Ayden, incidentally the same age as me when I was featured in SLOW BURN, was standing on front of empty SEARS store shelving in the Schuylkill Mall, Frackville PA.. Sears of closing after the corporate decision to make Frackville one of the many locations that would shudder in 2015.  There were only a handful of items left, all marked with an ‘all sales final’ warning under the 70% off all merchandise signs. Business was brisk–people were even rudely clamoring for more money off.. Even the store shelves were being purchased. All things must go. Including history.

When Ayden was in front, I said “look at me and smile!” and snapped the photo with my iPhone. Instead of a smile, I caught him sort of in a wide-mouthed surprised look at what he was seeing. I think he realized that this store, once filled with items to the point where you could hardly walk, was vanishing. Now it’s becoming a giant open field of tiled floors..

As I watched Ayden walk around the soon to be closed Sears at the mall today I realized the importance of this simple photo. When he is 30 or so, retail will be a distant memory. The way we buy everything will have changed.. This picture captured a moment, just one moment, when it was in its final phase..

While he may not remember the day or time this picture was taken, the evidence of it will allow Ayden will impress his own children with tales of malls and how he once, as a child, walked in stores to buy products instead of purchasing them in his body chip implant and have same day drone delivery..

Of course Ayden’s picture is not being published in a book. But it is on his father’s website. And that’s the way things are now.. until something else comes around and makes websites so 2000 and late.

A moment in time.. As life shifts.

My son has a long lasting cold .. At his request, here’s a chalkboard rendition of me being struck in my face by his sneeze.

Night fevers

…what always the spike of a fever at night? The endless horror at 3am when the temperature reads well above 102 degrees on a child?

It is beyond nerve wracking.

I know, the experts say the fever is a sign the body is working. That’s well and good. Except when parental fears get into the mix..

Ayden met Santa for the second time last night. He announced his list, but this time shortened it down to two things. I think he panicked a bit and clammed up once he was face to face with the big guy..

Although afterwards he asked a good question: What is Santa doing here right now instead of the North Pole? He knew how busy a time it was.. how did Santa have a chance to come to Ashland, PA? I reassured him .. he was not as persistent as he will be at four, or even five. 

I recall my ‘moment’ of realization came around four. So if that happens with my son, I’m just loving getting this one magical Christmas with the amazing innocence of believing in something.

Funny enough, our moment with Santa has been recorded for posterity by the POTTSVILLE REPUBLICAN. A reporter even got a quote from both of us.. John Usalis writes,

Inside the Legion post, members sold hot food while people came in to warm up. Santa Claus was also inside, ringing bells as children came to tell him their Christmas wishes.

Ayden Smolock, 3 1/2, of Ashland, was attending his first Old Fashioned Christmas and told Santa that he wanted a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sewer lair play set. He was also excited to get a candy cane from Santa. His father, Brian Smolock, enjoys coming to the event.

“The event has a very nice feel, like a mini Jim Thorpe,” Smolock said. “It’s a good atmosphere. I was over at the historical building across the street and they’re doing a good job there.”

So it is written.
SANTA, now you know. Even the media is reporting Ayden’s wish list!