Discussions over grilled food

I had a wonderful free flowing discussion with friends yesterday .. we were invited to a very early spring barbecue.. great food. And even better conversation.. We spoke about the missing flight 370, we talked about conspiracy theories, 9/11, God or the lack of one, and the meaning of life and whether mediums have the ability to talk to the dead. It was all of my interests spiraled into one great chat with good people—add to that chicken and homemade macaroni and cheese.

I did come to a realization, though.. During the conversation, others gave adamant opinions about their personal beliefs—their thoughts on what God is and if there is one, along with any other theory of mythological or paranormal subject matter. As for me? I just don’t know.

I don’t really know anything.

I read the theories, I see the information presented by experts, I know of the books, the Bibles, the Korans, the priests, and the ghostly tales.. I am aware of the Planet Nibiru.. I know that aliens met Dwight Eisenhower and told him there’s no God.. I know that George Noory has the worst toupee on earth.

But I just don’t know what my own opinion is.. I look at others who often say that they have the answers as closed-minded.. I often categorize Christian zealots in the same bin as atheists—neither allows much thought opposed to their own..

But as for me? I just don’t know..

Opinions are so often existent only to be proven wrong.. If I say that Flight 370 landed safely there’s the chance it didn’t.. and really, I just don’t know!

I don’t know!
We don’t know!

And though we don’t know, we will endlessly fall victim to the parade of opinionmakers, and haphazardly jump on the blowhard bandwagon of hot air. No one on that train knows, really. They just don’t admit it.

Is there a God? I really don’t know.
Are there aliens? I don’t know.
Is anything real?

Is anything real…That is the question Truman Burbank asked in one of my favorite movies, THE TRUMAN SHOW. The answer he got was that he was real.

Maybe that’s it.. nothing is really real.. except us. And we waste too much time debating and creating wars about Gods we have never seen and beliefs we cannot defend with fact.

I want there to be a God.
And aliens. I’d rather there be no planet X, though.

But Truman Burbank? I just know he’s real..

We are on borrowed time

I heard this description of life: It’s a bus ride that has no stops. You just keep going faster and faster

… the only way out is a crash: Death.

I think that sums up the gravity of the situation we are all in.

Please don’t consider this a negative posting about life. Life is actually quite fun for me right now.

I have a 17-month-old little man who is the joy of life.. My wife and I have been forever changed by his existence in our world. I have a wonderful family. Friends I cherish. We have jobs. We have a roof over our heads.. we have food when we are hungry. And I have an iPhone, and all the other technology that comes with life these days, too.

In the past two weeks I have been to two funerals. I will keep the overly personal information out, and just say that one was for someone who was 95 and a World War II POW. Another was for an uncle who lived to the truly ripe old age of 94. Both were pushing 100 when they met their respective final resting places. They both had long lives and lots of memories.. they both had stories.. both had a memories.. both had loved ones, cherished friends.. We all have stories, too. No matter the person.. From the richest to the poorest. From the oldest in the world to the child that dies at birth. There IS A MEANING to life.. right?

After contemplation, I have determined that we have become overly busy with our selfish pleasures of newsfeeds and campaign stats and sports stats and bla bla bla bla bla. At least I have.

I have neglected so much in the real world because of the online world. The internet and technology have become habits instead of pleasures. It went from being a novelty to a way of life. We all have been touched by the net bug. We are addicted!! Addicted to virtual reality. Addicted to virtual everything……virtually nothing.

But back to life for a second. REAL LIFE, not virtual.
What is the purpose to all this? Why ask! you know there is no answer. Lots claim to know the truth. Many others ponder it forever. In the end we don’t have a clue. What happens when we do die!? Again, here.. no word from anyone who did perish. We are left to wonder if near death experiences are really experiences of truth or just brain waves going awry. We are left to question tenets of religion.. question all things.

In the net age we have oodles of knowledge at our fingertips. All we have to do is Google or Bing it or MetaFilter it.. or whatever it. Do people even ask Jeeves anymore? Or AltaVista? .. Asta La Vista ..

Search results would amount to tons of data if you printed it on paper. But in our paperless society paper doesn’t exist anymore… right? Even though a paper-stack of bills sits next to me, that snail mail sent me, that was licked by some underpaid secretary in a cubicle maybe even AGHAST! with a typewriter…somewhere in the world.

There are bits and bytes of data flying around the world at a record pace.

And with all this knowledge you’d think by now someone would have found the meaning of life! The closest I know that found something was John Clease in MONTY PYTHON’S THE MEANING OF LIFE. The death penalty introduced to us in that show was, well, one many men wouldn’t mind having.

The information superhighway.. that is what it was once dubbed. Now it’s filled with potholes and dead sites that have dead ends.

Where does it all go in the end, though?

No where.. bits and bytes go bye bye for us.

Our bodies were dust and to dust they return. Despite the big plans we have to strive for big goals, we are cut down by something..whether it’s fate, God, time.. science. Whatever you believe. You can be five months, 15, 35, or 95. All dust.

So after this week, with two funerals (and a wedding, congrats bro), one can only leave the day with a renewed perspective on this strange place called earth.

A new lease on life!?

Not a chance…

A constantly expiring lease?

Now that is more like it..

Winds of change. The stench it is all the same all over again.

I noticed something tonight.. My area, for those who don’t know, really doesn’t change much. If you travel away for a while and come back you’ll feel like you are stuck in the same age.. which has benefits and negatives all in the same. You know what ground you stand on. But you also don’t reap in the glory that changing of scenery can offer.

Tonight, as the typical early spring breeze blew and the sun set, I noticed something. Maybe it was a revelation—one that I will botch up and not do justice by even typing it out in rambling thought. But the breeze blew, birds’ chirps resounded around me like a chorus of warmth, and the sun finally gave way to the night sky. And I thought: Is earth just a classroom in which people roll through now and then for a lesson? Or instead, are we constantly rolling through the same planet? Are we recycling over and over again on earth, trying to get this right? I don’t know. I don’t even know where my thoughts took me.. 

I think it was one of those moment in time split second glimpse of the thin veil that divides this realm and another. 

I mean, I looked at this sunset with birds singing and wondered if it is the first time this generation of birds were here? Maybe they were just recycled and came back again since they were so good at filling a spring evening with refreshing music. Maybe. And maybe I was here before. And saw that same sunset for centuries. Maybe? Getting a little weird yet?

Think of it.. if your each down into the water and grab a fish, what do you do the fish, besides let it gag and garble to death? You make it see a vision of a whole new world .. even if it is only for seconds. 

I think from time to time, when we have momentary lapses of reason, we chip away at the shroud that keeps us from understanding a higher purpose. Or power. Or … nothing?

Maybe there is nothing.
And maybe there is something.
And maybe there is reincarnation.
And maybe there is everything.

I just don’t know.

I bet you don’t either. Which makes my abhorrently un-understandable diatribe I just typed all the more ‘out there’..

it looks like you dont believe in god. do you?

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But people believed in “Horus” a lot sooner than Jesus. But I certainly don’t want to tell people who confide in Jesus that they are wrong.. because maybe I am. 

But here is the deal.. I believe in Satan because this world is insane. Seriously. I believe that evil exists. So I have to believe in some type of God… And I fear that since evil is so prominent maybe Satan is .. the creator? This is my fear. What if, right? What if..

So do I believe in a God? Sure. I just hope the creator is a godly one.

11 things I am thinking about on 9/11

Forgive me for sounding selfish, but here is what I am thinking today.

I was ten years younger, just turned 21, had a whole life in front of me
My dog Newton still was happily alive
My mom and dad were younger. So was my brother and sister, niece and nephew.
I didn’t meet my wife yet.
I didn’t have my job yet.
I didn’t have this website yet.
I still used AOL instant messenger and ICQ
I didn’t have a child..
I didn’t have a college degree yet.
I had trust in authority.
I had more privacy than I do today.
9/11/01 through 9/11/11… A lot of things around our world changed. And a lot of stuff in our collective lives changed, as did a lot of things in our private lives. Too much for comfort maybe.

…by the time 9/11/21 comes, God knows where we’ll be. But I can tell you 2021 will be here before we know it. Time continues no matter what we do to stop it. No plastic surgery will stop death. No amount of cream will stop wrinkles. No amount of liquor will stop grief. We are all in this together.

Evolution continues. Life continues…as those beams of light from Ground Zero softly go into the air.

Good evening, all.

An ode to the past

There was a very cold spring wind that blew tonight, and it made me think of two things.. First it made me think of late night trips to Perkins with friends.. and secondly it made me think of a cold spring day in April 1996 at my friend Katie’s house, swinging around pool tools at her house.. not sure if she remembers, but I do.

It’s amazing to me how fast time goes. It often makes me wonder where exactly it goes… Does time exist as an element? Is there a way to measure time? …maybe by the wrinkles on the face, or the amount of stress someone has during a lifetime.

I just wish it didn’t go so damn fast.. so fast.

Who are we? Why are we here?

Nevermind whether God exists.. I’ve often wondered, do we exist? Sure, to ourselves we do. But do others exist to us? We are conscious only of ourselves and cannot feel what others do, and in turn, they cannot feel what we do. Therefore, to others, we very well may not exist too. And if we don’t exist to them, and they don’t exist to us, does anyone really exist. Maybe the only real thing that exists is ego. And when you take away ego, we become nothing….


Answers enabled should you wish to opine..

If dinosaurs never died off but instead would have ended up coexisting with humans, would humans have dinos as pets or use them only as wild animals for meat?

Just wondering.. Thoughts? If not.. that’s fine. Feel free to quote the Bible since someone today told me that the Bible says we ‘coexisted’ with dinosaurs before……. So I was told.