Fatherly advice

When your child is three, don’t fret too much. Things will change, surely.. Attitudes change.. mood swings get intense.. But the love is still immense.

It’s amazing to have conversations with your son or daughter.. it’s unbelievable to fathom that they have opinions, tastes, wants, desires.. hopes.. and yes, fears. They see shadows and ponder the source, and hear sounds and wonder the location.. They fear what’s under the bed. But deep down, don’t you, too? Whether it’s the childlike reality or the modern day adult version, we still fear the unknown. 

I certainly do..

Ayden is three, going on 30. Still over 20 months until he would start a traditional Kindergarten, but I fear that. 

I fear bullies and I fear violence. I hope we raise Ayden to be himself and listen to his own voice, instead of falling for peer pressure.. I hope my wife and I bring Ayden the best of the world but warn him of the worst..

And I hope and pray to whatever God is above or below that the boy has a life worth remembering.. 

Ayden made me a card at day care the other day. It was a paper cutout of a tie colored by him, with a note inside saying he loves me. He wrote his own name *with help* but was exceptionally proud of it.. I was too. I proudly hung it on the refrigerator (trying to find room around all of the other things he brought him for me and his mommy) .. 

To me Father’s Day is a day of practicality.. Love.. and abundant joy over having a child who hopefully looks up to you and always will.

I plan on singing along with Ayden to songs from Phineas and Ferb episodes to celebrate. I hope we still can do such things when he’s 13 and 33..

A father's day reflection.

Mother’s day came first. Dad was an afterthought. And then Father’s day followed.

But that’s fine. 

You see, Mother’s Day, in many respects, is what matters. ‘Mom’ goes through the nine months of changes, the labor pains.. the glorious feeling when she holds her child.  Dad of course had a hand in the whole affair, but.. .. .. and for that, we know why dads mean something.

I have sought to be the best father, ever. Period. I don’t know how often I sink or swim with my son, Ayden, but I certainly try..

Since the first time I looked at my son’s face, I felt a connection that is stronger than the physical form. This may sound corny, and for non-believers, potentially repugnant, but I see “God” in my son’s eyes. Whatever your idea of God is, of course. Because God may not be the God we think God is, or he may be a she, or maybe just electricity.. or maybe nothing.  But I see more than nothing in my son’s eyes, therefore I know there is something more than nothing—and the something is something I have no clue how to even try to understand.. 

And re-re-reading that paragraph, I know it makes little sense. But life sometimes just… makes little sense.

What does make sense, though, is being a father. Sharing laughs, wrestling matches (without real punches), fights, and love.

Family first. At least according to Adam Sandler in CLICK.

And I follow that motto. Family first.

We certainly don’t have to be friends. But we need to be family.

In 1993, I received a Christmas gift: My mom subscribed me to TIME magazine. I have been a reader since. Though I will admit now over the past 10 years I sometimes page through the smaller than ever print edition and just toss it aside. But in 1993 I read a story called ‘FATHERHOOD’… Never of course, at the age of 13, realizing that 20 years later I’d be celebrating my third father’s day…

And in 2003, ten years after that TIME edition was printed on old paper, I was cruising around in my 1999 RED Volkswagen Jetta, searching for a mate and not realizing my best friend Tara would soon be my wife… While cracking the windows, I played my COMPACT DISC of Simple Plan. I’d Do Anything… And now, ten years later, my son Ayden  is watching 2003 reruns of SCOOBY DOO and he is singing along to songs by Simple Plan, as they did the theme songs and background music for the show.. At one point about three weeks ago, I had Ayden in my car and put my old scratched up CD of Simple Plan in.. and me and my son shared a moment of singing along to music. In 2003 did I ever think I’d have a child, let alone be married? No.. I did not.

This is what happens. Life happens when you are busy making other plans. Right, Mr. Holland? Your Opus proved that..

I think I may go back to the 1993 article of TIME and read what  being a father is all about..Though I think I know.

Being a dad is being there. Being the wrestler in Chief and sometimes the disciplinarian in chief. Easing mom’s tension by taking the child away for a while. Being a friend. A foe. And an ally to the end.

Yes, fatherhood is interesting, beautiful, and amazing. All at the same time. I am glad I am taking part in this grand experiment.

To all the dads out there, including my own: Happy Father’s Day. For a few hours Mom may tell you it’s “your” day. Actually it’s not. It is your child’s day — everyday..

In case generations of tradition and centuries of evolution have some how left you in its dust on how to be a father, the government is here just in time for Father's Day with a handy dandy federal website instructing dads on how to be dads and how to wash their kids. In all 50 states.

In case generations of tradition and centuries of evolution have some how left you in its dust on how to be a father, the government is here just in time for Father's Day with a handy dandy federal website instructing dads on how to be dads and how to wash their kids. In all 50 states.

A big happy father's day to all the dads out there

It’s my second now (yea can’t believe that). Feel like a veteran. My gift was a beautiful framed photo of me holding my son minutes he was born.. and my other gift is a BATMAN mug for my coffee.  Pretty cool. 

I was a young subscriber to TIME magazine, and I remember getting this issue in 1993. I now look back … I was 13 then and I am 31 now. I am a father. Wow.. I am what I’d never thought I’d be when I was 13. But now I am completely fine with that… It just fascinates me how life changes. By the way, I am posting this while my son, Ayden, is messily trying to eat his chicken noodle soup. He got mad at first that there were no crackers in his soup… I am at his command. 

Yes, indeed, how life changes.

I wonder what will be on TIME magazine when he is 13. I wonder if there will be a TIME when he is 13……….

(By the time I was done writing this post, at 7:13 pm EDT this Friday night, Ayden dumped the entire bowl of chicken soup on the floor. Guess he’s not hungry)

Father's Day, first edition

First off, it’s my hope that I will have plenty more Fathers Days ahead of my in life.. But it’s still surreal to think that here I am, in the year 2011, ten years after turning the immature and tender age of 21, and I have a child. A wife. A job.. Bills. Insurance payments. And all of the other things which match up to adulthood in some way..

I have a few things in life to look forward to, a few things to dread. When the moment arrives of parent teacher conferences, or nightly sporting events, or piano recitals, or speeches (whichever my son so chooses to be interested in), I may find those nights overly busy and stomach-ached due to late night fast food dinners. But it will go by so fast that I won’t have any way to even absorb the importance at times of what is truly happening around me..

It is my first Father’s Day. And my son is four months young, as I age tremendously fast.

The amazing thing in life I never would have thought of as important is this: Parents make the life of their children number one and abandon selfishness. At least my wife and I did..

Father’s Day indeed..
2011.
My time is flying by.