Let it be known, in the world of headline writers, the SUN may be the best.

The truth can be a royal pain in the ass

For those who don’t come under the rule of the Royal Family, you may have never seen a town crier. Thanks to the birth of another royal spawn, now we have..

It looks like Anthony Hopkins in a 1776-era flick..

The royal afterbirth

LET IT BE KNOWN, THAT ON THIS DAY, The royal uterus opened and popped out a king. Ok, that is not how the official announcement went, but it’s good enough for me.

Sure, the world is happy and lots of Brits used it as a means of getting intoxicated at the ‘pub’ last night.. but media attention is quickly becoming unnerving. It’s over the top.. a little too much. As of this update, the planet has not been made aware of the name of the new King to be.. but we will find out. And when we do, the overblown media response will quiver with more jubilation. 

Meanwhile in Britain, Prime Minster David Cameron is going to be institute a porn ban—he says for the public good—and will make citizens who want porn put in an official request from the government. I assume there will be some list generated to find out what citizens had the daring nerve to actually request porn.. We’ll most likely not find out when the powers that be get their desires fulfilled, though..

Also in the world, as the town crier announced a child happy and hopefully royal child to the universe, others starved in Africa, others were blown to bits in Syria, and others were kidnapped and tortured in Name that Country..

I am not trying to be the dour downer.. but perspective on this situation is sorely lacking. For goodness sake, the media went ‘wall to wall,’ no pun intended on Kate Middleton’s childbirth experience.. And now that there is a bountiful boy, we are increasingly hearing more about the royal family and when they will meet the new king..

I sigh with disbelief and regret over what the media has become. Firestorms of celebrity and nonsense, packaged with ‘breaking news’ footage of nothing.

George Zimmerman also was back in the news yesterday.. he apparently helped rescue an entire family from an overturned car. Talk about good PR when you need it.. Unfortunately for George, the media was busy keeping an eye on the Royal Vagina, so they didn’t see his little act of redemption..

There is one question that the media has thus far failed to answer: What did happen to the Royal Afterbirth? I sure bet the paparazzi would love to get their hands on that..

The royal uterus

Cameron timing sure is interesting.. He’s going to announce Internet censorship (he will call it a porn ban) while Kate Middleton’s royal uterus opens to export another member of the ruling class?? How great his timing is..

This is not Kate Middleton. And she is not pregnant.

It’s tough being fake, times two.

i I know she's rich. I know she's famous. And yes, she's in the Royal family. But I am just tired of hearing about how people unfairly took shots of her naked and how obscure international sources are publishing them..

And in all honestly, the shots so far that I saw.. are.. well? Quite awful. Grainy images of a scantily clad Kate Middleton.. how not exciting.

i I know she's rich. I know she's famous. And yes, she's in the Royal family. But I am just tired of hearing about how people unfairly took shots of her naked and how obscure international sources are publishing them..

Maybe the crowned jewels are so miraculous that they find them necessary to be shown to the world. But does that explain the Dutchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, buffing it up as well.. She was photographed by a French magazine topless. Much to the chagrin of the Royal Family, those pictures were published.. she isn’t getting the star treatment that Prince Harry got for his wild sex romped weekend in Vegas. Middleton was more demure in her attempt to be wild. She was topless but there is no other evidence of orgies or all night pool parties with stars.

And this time, the Royal family is going to take action. They are going to sue the French Magazine closer FOR PUBLISHING THE PHOTOS.

Unfortunately if the Royal Family doesn’t think hundreds of other publications are already publishing the photo they are wrong. Forever now, Middleton’s bare-breasted day in the beach will be fully able to be seen, so as long as there is a free net and free speech.

Despite doom and gloom and news of fiction and non, this blog is a little bit family friendly. So you’ll only get a censored image from me. You can do the rest of the world yourself should you be desperate to see Kate Middleton’s breasts. Here’s a secret, though: They look like everyone else’s. Nothing Royal about body parts in the end…

SO NOW THAT THERE IS A ROYAL WEDDING, DOES ONE-TIME COMMONER KATE NOW GET THE FULL SCALE ROYAL TREATMENT?

And by that I mean.. does she get her own personal Groom of the Stool? It would certainly be unfair were she to not.

This kiss this kiss

Just got an AP NEWS ALERT that William and Kate exchanged a short kiss… An AP alert?! A kiss is breaking news worthy?! The news has become this shallow… As the tornadoes roll on

Kate Middleton does look good, for all my mocking.. But I just wonder what goes through her mind right now…