I know ForteanTimes.com, or any other website with third party ads, really can’t help it.. but I am getting tired of seeing NOAH ads everywhere.. And when I went to Forteantimes this morning, all there of the NOAH ads you see here had automatic sound play .. simultaneously.. 

NOAH just must not be like the book version

The epic NOAH movie is storming through box offices.. Christians flocking to it in bigger numbers than Sunday mass. But noteworthy are some Christian perspectives, as this one by Matt Walsh, on why it’s a terrible movie if you look at compared to the ‘book version.’ Walsh points out that NOAH was made by an atheist and that rock people were bad guys. Along with weird love angles.  I had no inclination to see this film. After this review, now I may just want to..

The New York TIMES called NOAH ‘less epic’ than a horror movie..

NOAH seems to be slated to have a $47 mil opening for the weekend.. Nikki Finke wondered if the Southern California quakes made NOAH seem a little too real to see in theaters.. Either way, it appears that the former Governator’s SABOTAGE failed massively.. 

Who built the ark? Noah.. Who won the BOX, brother Noah won the box

Get ready.

The box office will be Bible thumping this weekend.. holy times are high, movie theaters will be filled with the faithful, praising Jesus and fearing the almighty, who flooded the world and forever promised not to with a rainbow. And then flooded the world OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Forget the actual ‘story’ of Noah for a second, or anything factual, or anything scientific, or any reality of it at all.. Instead. It’s TIME FOR NOAH. Brother Noah.. And his Ark.

We know this so far: The movie NOAH cost a lot of cold, hard cash to create. It faced a steady stream of criticism from the hardest of hardcore Christians, those hell-bent (no pun intended) on making sure Noah stayed true to the ‘real’ story from the Bible. It’s not in box offices around the world, and America.. And now Darren Aronofsky’s movie is making big inroads with the faithful, doing especially great with Catholic Hispanics and any town USA that has a strong Christian population.. You can read more about those Friday night facts from the HOLLYWOOD REPORTER..

Experts who get paid to run numbers on these types of things figure that NOAH will earn about $40 mil for the week—far less than it cost to make. But then again.. Sunday afternoon sales could be ALMIGHTY higher than expected. Just imagine if Father NamethatPriest rants and raves from the pulpit about this film.. The fervent will be filled with the holy ghost, enough perhaps to go streaming into theaters with friends and families instead of roast beef dinners at the family diner. Most movies have a date night like Friday or Saturday registering that largest numbers.. But just like PASSION OF THE CHRIST, NOAH could be huge on Sunday, bloody Sunday..

But for now, we only know this: NOAH is being released in 3,567 theaters strong. SABOTAGE is next with 2,486. And just judging from early numbers, Arnold Schwarzenegger will not ‘sabotage’ NOAH, but instead bomb huge at the box…

Devils and demons..

Remember this man? It’s Mohamen Mehdi Ouazanni, the actor who played the devil in THE BIBLE.. well…
What’s a Bible without a devil? In Hollywood, a reality … the producers of THE BIBLE have cut the ‘devil’ from an upcoming film based on the show because, reports say, he looked too much like President Obama..
And he did look JUST like the President..

Some major problems may be rising for NOAH.. The movie that Hollywood has highly advertised and screened for Bible fearing men and women is getting some bad marks from that crowd.. According to VARIETY, almost 100% of faith driven moviegoers are dissatisfied with NOAH.. Bad numbers for the exact fan base that Hollywood banked on..